"We are sorry to inform you ... twice"

Anyone who has received rejection letters from Graduate school departments knows that it is an experience that can best be discribed as "shity". You think over every little thing about your application; your writing sample, letters of recomendation, your personal statment. "If only I had re-written that paragraph" you think "I might have stood a better chance". Usually it is an experience best met drunk.

Lucky for me, their is Cornell University. Last week I got a letter from the Graduate school of Arts & Sciences telling me that I am a memeber of the unwashed masses that did not deserve a place and stipend in the Great Univeristy in Ithica New York; in spite of the $70 dollars I paid them to spend five minutes with my application and writing sample.

In a moment that could have come out of a Waugh novel (or at least Office Space), the Philosoply department condescended to notify me, in a completely different letter last night, that yes the graduate school of Arts & Sciences was correct; I am not worthy of a place in their department.

I guess I should be happy, this means that I only paid $35 for my rejection letters. That is some consolation.



PS: Why do Graduate schools think that it makes the news better if they say that there where only six places for 240 applications? I don't know how they think this sounds, but to me it sounds arogant. As if they are saying "all of our students are the creme de la creme" (like they're Jean Brodie) "And you young man are not the creme de la creme. We get 240 applications, so we get to pick who we want, and you are not what we want." Fair enough, but why do I care if you get 240 applications or 7 application for six spots? I still didn't get in.