Dan gets his dream job

Since I have not written anything in about three weeks I figured every one has stopped checking on this blog. Which is fine now I write all about the job I have that pays my 50k and sends me on weekly business trips to the British Virgin Islands. The work is ok, but all my co-workers are twenty-something women who just sit around talking to me all day. Here is my typical work day.

8:00 am, Get to work, turn on my computer, check my e-mail, responds to e-mails.
8:15 am, Stephanie comes into my corner office and asks if I want to take a smoke break.
8:30 am, Come back to my corner office, boss comes in gives me either new project, promotion, raise, or box level tickets to tonight's baseball game.
9:00 am, Work interrupted by Tracy coming in asking me if I want any thing from Starbucks.
9:15 am, Lisa, my secretary, comes in to complain about how her man isn't treating her right, and she really wants a guy like me.
9:45 am, Tracy comes back with my latte and sits down in my corner office and drinks her iced Mochachino while telling me about either, ex-jerk-ass-boyfriends, stupid-ass-"romantic"-trips-for-mentioned-take-her-on, all--she-is-really-looking-for-is-guy-like-me.
10:30 am, After getting some serious work done bosses' secretary comes in near tears, she tells me that bosses' boss is about to fire boss because boss forgot to do X. I tell tearful secretary that its okay because I did X for boss, and I give her the file in which all research for X is in. Secretary looks Like she is about to kiss me, and I show her the door instead.
1:15 am, Boss comes in shaken. Says thanks, graciously received by me. Then he proceeds to tell my too much about his sins and the sins of his secretary and sins of his wife and the sins of his wife's pool cleaner.
12:00 pm, Bosses' Boss takes me out to a little French bistro and tells me that he is sick of my Boss and if he hasn't my bosses' brother my boss would be fired by now. Tells me all be promoted to better things behind bosses' back.
12:45 am, Still at French bistro, Bosses' boss no completely drunk from all Merlot over lunch. Starts telling my that he never did any thing nice for his children. I try to stop him from crying and telling me about such things. I fail and spend half an hour comforting poor bastard. Bill comes, $ 487.65.
1:00 pm, April comes in, asks if I like new short hair cut, asks if I got e-mail about the club for tonight, asks if I'm going to buy her dinner and drinks before we go.
2:00 pm, Lisa asks to leave early, says it will never happen again.
4:00 pm, Stephanie asks if I want an "after lunch smoke",
5:00 pm, Tracy come in asking if I'm going to be at for-mentioned club. Do I want to take her out to dinner and drinks before?
5:05 pm, Tracy, looking hurt, leaves my corner office. Before she shuts do I ask her if she wants to go to Vail this Saturday.
5:06 pm, Tracy shuts door to my corner office with a lovely smile on her face.
5:45 pm, Turn off my computer and leave work.