"I think we should see other philosophers"

Alright, I was going to do a serious post today, but Dianne D. sent me a hilarious list of philosopher's breakup lines. I did, however, find them a little unrealistic; because philosophers usually don't have girlfriends to break up with. Anyways here they are (my top three are 'Plantingian', 'Polish Logician', 'Kripke 2' (especially if you've ever heard about Kripke's predilections).

Plantingian: A possible world with you and I together for the foreseeable future hasn't been actualized.

Chisholmian: The ideal definition, which I've taken seventy-five little steps toward, doesn't contain your name. So hit the trail.Posted by: David at March 12, 2004 10:19 AM

Quinian - To you it might have appeared that we were really together, but our relationship was just a bunch of undetached dating parts.

Paraconsistent logician v.2 - We can break up, but we'll still be together. . . and that does not imply anything (everything).

Polish Logician - BreakupYouMe

Structuralist Logician - You and I do not satisfy what it is to be in a "going out" relationship.

Hempel -
Explanans:
People are only together when both parties want to be seeing each other. (General Law)
I no longer want to see you (particular fact)
Explanandum:
Therefore we are no longer together. (explanation of why we are not dating)

Plato - We no longer participate in the Form of dating.

Leibniz (v2) Our relationship clearly did not make for the best of all possible worlds, and that is why we are no longer in it.

Kripke - Our relationship does not exist in the actual world, but perhaps in some other possible world.

Kripke 2 - I thought I was going out with someone named "Schmidt".

Indeterminacy theorist - I was never able to quite pinpoint our relationship anyway.

William James - Our breaking up is live, forced, and momentous. So take it on faith that we are no longer together.